I saw you first

Bureaucrat Ashutosh Agnihotri pens his thoughts on International Women’s Day

I saw you first

I saw you first when I could barely open my eyes
Bemused by the sight and sound of a strange world.
I saw you then-your face pale, your body drained
You lay next to me tired, completely exhausted.
I was trying to find in this unfamiliar milieu
The reason why you could still smile looking at me
And then when you drew me close and quenched
What I then found to be the first signs of eternal thirst
I realised, created, discovered my first relation
And you became my mother!

I saw you first when I could discern a little
And I could notice how sweetly you smiled
With a rattle in your tender hands, shaking it hard
Trying to evoke an unintelligible giggle from my throat
Making faces, singing songs, moving your tiny feet
All with the single purpose of making me smile
I realised why you did so my sister!

I saw you first when I could feel the anxious joy
And heard the vague and abstruse notes of my heart
That raced in rhythmical beats looking at you
When the moon appeared lovely in the sky
When the birds and buds and stars and streams
Filled my being with joy, beauty and loveliness-
When the mind soared and roamed in distant skies
Searching for a heaven, a palace of delight
Where you and I would sing and dance
Live and love and long and laugh
I knew who you were, my world, my love!

I saw you first draped in a dark green cloth
When the nurse smiled and put you in my lap
Your heart beating loud and fast and my eyes
Filled with moist joy, my hands holding your
Little fingers still smelling fresh of your mother’s womb
I knew that the prettiest fairy had descended
To light and brighten my life, my world
You turned me into a father, my baby!

You change your form the primordial force
Creating me, sustaining me, raising and reassuring me
In every form you make me feel desired and complete
With your beatific smile, loving lap and passionate kiss
Without you, your touch, your grace and art
I would drift like an aimless boat unanchored!

Ashutosh Agnihotri

Ashutosh Agnihotri

An IAS officer of 1999 batch, Ashutosh Agnihotri hails from Kanpur. He has a masters degree in English Literature. He is interested in Literature, both English and Hindi, Cricket and astrology. He is presently the Commissioner and Secretary, Planning and Development, Science and Technology, Tourism, Government of Assam.