On Death

Dark and mystified, you hide behind the shadows

Pouncing on people like a blood thirsty tiger,
You are the blatant ultimate truth that hits me hard each time you take a soul
Incomplete lives, incomplete goodbyes are all that you leave
Instilling fears in the strongest of the hearts
Your smile shudders me to my inner core.

Yet today, I stand pondering why, o why
was there not a pall of gloom but serenity and peace
not a fearful scorn but a glint of smile
unsaid goodbyes but this feeling of a blessing on my head

My aita* died in her sleep.
Without warnings, without farewells
our family was orphaned with the void of her absence
but still I can feel her more than I did when she was a lively old lady
and understand her giving and misgivings

Did death separate me from her?
or did it help me know her better?

Maybe till I breathe I am bound to dread the inevitable,
keep choosing to keep it miles away from my tiny world
But now, death doesn’t seem to be as dark and dreary,
It is that time when I break the physical metaphors and learn to trust my unknown abode somewhere…….

 

About the poem

 

The poem is an expression of my first experience with the death of a loved one, my aita (grandmother). It touches upon the mind’s dilemma between letting go a person after death and accepting their metaphysical presence in life through a series of questions in search for answers of the unknown.

Chandrika Konwar

Chandrika Konwar

Chandrika Konwar is a final year student of Daulat Ram College, Delhi University. She hails from Assam. She loves travelling, exploring and experimenting with new things. Writing is her window to the world. She believes that knowledge is power and it is her dream to spread awareness about everything under the sun through the medium of words.